Still Fire....

I sit here at my computer thinking about how to start this particular blog. Most know, or at least can tell, I am no writer. But I do still write and even though this isn’t a strength of mine I would like to think I am improving everyday. I keep trying. I am thirty six with hot pink hair. Some people would look at me and have so much to say about my appearance. I am to old to have my hair like this or I need to dress my age. Some people look at me and love it! We can not please everyone. And I am living my life for me and my children.

Today I was in a clothing store…. one that I have shopped at since I was in 7th grade!!!! Yes I said that. 7th grade!!! I walked by a mirror and looked at myself. What I saw was tired and aged and I said to myself “Ashley, what are you doing here?” There was a bit of shame there for a moment. I quickly shook my head and said “who cares! if it makes me feel good and I am not hurting anyone then why should I care!” I grabbed a few more items and some flashy sunglasses to counter my mood and checked out. No regrets ladies. The store is Discovery if anyone is wondering what store I shopped at when I was in 7th grade.

Being in my profession, you meet many amazing women. Some are broken. Some are celebrating. Some are looking to feel alive. In many instances I always refer to it as “finding fire”. Many women loose their fire. Children take a toll on our bodies and we constantly putting others before our own well being really takes and drains ones soul. That MOM GUILT …. yikes she is a beast!!!! I have seen so many clients come in for a second shoot to find that they have turned into a completely different person. Their entire vibe and energy is filled with confidence. They “found their fire”. Ladies you know who you are! keep killin it.

About a year and a half ago I made a huge change in my life. One that has pushed me to evaluate and understand who I am. We are learning about who we are with each day that passes. Some good, some bad right? I have grown to like the person I strive to become. Continuing to learn who I am with every day that passes. I can honestly say I did not truly start to love who I was until 31-32. While I show women daily how badass and beautiful they are I try to also push myself to do things that push me to grow.

SO I went in front of the camera. Many think big deal I am around this all the time it should be easy. And yes for the most part it is fairly easy for me. My main reason was put myself in a vulnerable situation, one that might make me feel the way my clients feel. I decide for the first time to be photographed topless and with a male photographer. Let me start by saying HOW amazing Joel Wilson really is. He is a genius and has a personality that pushes the limits. A little intimidating which not many have that power over me. I have followed his work now for a few years and truly love how he poses to really push boundaries. He shoots from below a lot which is something completely different than my style which I totally appreciate. He uses OCF ( off camera flash) and gels to set the mood. Needless to say I am a huge fan!

Located in Nashville I decided to book him for 2 hours at the House Of Adora. It is a hot pink house and the decor is something out of the 70’s but in all the best ways.

we talked shop a little bit. Set up expectations and boundaries because I mentioned that I was trying to push the envelope a little out of my normal sessions I am been a part of. A tasteful Hustler Magazine kinda vibe. To be honest I was nervous up until I walked into the shoot. The hour before was the worst because I was in my head. In my head like 95% of my clients are when they walk into my studio. I did the dang thang and I felt amazing, comfortable like a real bad ass. It couldn’t of came at a better time because I had just gone through something extremely difficult and I was there for a reason and it was to remember who the ef I was.

After the shoot of course we had to celebrate with some good ol Nashville Food.

And lastly shout out to my friend Kristen !!! I helped find her fire 5 years ago and she helped me find mine again. You truly are one of the good ones and I love having you in my life. xoxo

HERE you go !!!