Feed your Wanderlust SOLO- A boss babes journey

I'm currently in the North Cascades mountain range. Sitting in a yurt, while it's raining outside and wondering why I left my raincoat in the car. I guess I'm just going to have to go and get it so that I can make a trip to the outhouse. That's right the outhouse.

How did I end up in a yurt off the Skagit River and on the base of the foothills of the Northern Cascades? I force myself to do the things that scare me. A week-long trip filled with hiking in bear country...not exactly the first thing you think of a soothing to ones soul. But if you saw the pictures of the alpine meadows and glacial lakes...you would be sitting in the bed right next to me as I write this

Five years ago I found myself at a crossroads. I realized that my marriage was over. I had a 5 year old, 3 year old and a newborn. The easy choice would be to stay and have an empty shell of a life. I would be as happy as I could be, but I would be in a comfortable/ known/safe place. We made the decision that was best for our family. It was the scary and had not always been the easy decision. But the right thing for us and the one that led us to be a happier family.

I've dabbled on doing the scary things my whole life. I moved to Chicago after graduating college without ever setting foot in the city. One of my college roommates was going to grad school and would love a roommate. That was enough to sell me on the move. First time I saw the city was from the moving van and it was the best decision I ever made.

A decade and one marriage later, that was the start of committing to choosing to do the scary things. 

Choosing to do things that make you happy can be very scary especially as a single mom. It's not easy to put yourself first, mom guilt is 100% real. The only thing I regret I have is not doing it sooner and doing more things that put me out of my comfort zone.

The past 5 years of doing the scary things has changed my life. I started my own business, which was something I had only ever talked about. I went back to work full time. I finally booked that boudoir session with Ashley and never looked back. I now choose to be happy with who I am now instead of putting of things for a future "some day." I decided to make the time for things that bring my happiness. And if I'm happier as an individual, I am a way better mom! I have packed up the kids and we've taken epic road trips to national parks and back east to see where I grew up. I have even found a love for traveling by myself.

Which is how find myself in a yurt with the outhouse. Every summer the kids spend a week with their dad. I use that week to do something for myself. Some years it's staying home, lounging around the house and catching up on cleaning. Other years it's planning a trip for myself. I find somewhere that I have never been to and start booking things. Once things are booked and money is involved you can't chicken out and decide not to do it. 

This year was a trip year. I was invited on a dream trip through Glacier National Park with my boyfriend and his son. A trip I had been envisioning for years going on. I bought all the hiking gear I would need...everything from new boots to bear spray. Then with everything that has happened in 2020, he just wasn't mentally/spiritually/physically able to be in a relationship. We broke up. Yeah I was heart sad, but also totally bummed about not being able to go on the trip.

I decided right then that I still could have an epic hiking trip. I started looking at which National Parks I haven't been to.  Washington had three (Mt. Rainier, North Cascades & Olympic) and all within a doable drive from each other for the eight days I had free to fill. Glaciers, old growth alpine forests, meadows of wild flowers (I was a month early...still snow...no flowers) and even a rain forest. 

I can't tell you how many people said "I could never do that," "I can't imagine traveling by myself," "but you're a girl," "what about bears." The only one that actually concerned me was the bears (I bought bear spray, check the trails every day with the park and avoided the backcountry...problem solved). 

I planned for about two days in each Park. I booked nights at historic inns within two of the parks. I found the yurt outside of one of the parks. And I planned some of the hardest trails/elevation climbs in my life. Did I forget to mention that I hate heights. Legit turns my stomach just even thinking about them. Yet I planned an entire vacation around things involving heights. I hiked my first Ridgeline. I have walked out on some rickety ass bridges to get pictures of waterfalls (they weren't really rickety but to me any bridge is questionable). The whole time whispering to myself I don't like this, I don't like this. 

Each time it was so worth it. Doing something that you once thought was not possible is such an empowering sensation. I never want the things that scare me to hold me back from experiencing life. I want to use them to propell me further and to better places than I ever thought imaginable. 

Never have I regretted pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I have learned so much more about myself and the things that I love/will sacrifice /stand for/gladly pass over. 

Push yourself to do that scary thing. Those are the things that will make you grow into the person you are meant to be. It's not always fun but the pay out is always worth the trouble. 

Go on that trip, take that course, tell that person you love them, wear that bikini. It's ok to be scared, but don't let that fear dictate your life and keep you from living.

-Becky Shanks