Is the grass really greener?
Is the grass really greener on the other side?
Do people have as much fun behind closed doors as they appear to be having when they are out in public? Do we get bored of where we are in life? Or do we just like the idea of something different for a day? Is the grass only greener because sometimes it’s fertilized with bullshit?
I had kids young. I was pregnant at 21 and then again at 22. I missed out on the prime party years in my twenties. I spent every waking moment working and being a mom. I love my kids, but I was slowly losing my sanity. I was in a shit relationship and didn’t have much help. I watched him walk out the door to party for days on end without hearing from him more times than I can count. I started to resent him, I didn’t get there on my own, but here I was ON MY OWN. I wanted to go out with my friends, drink my problems away, and not have to wake up and be a mom at 6AM. When I would finally secure a sitter overnight it would turn into a weekend thing cause I just need that break. I needed to have the grass on the other side.
I had a steady government job. It wasn’t my dream job, it barely paid the bills, but it offered good benefits. I loved what I did, I loved most of the people I worked with. But I NEEDED more. I attempted going back to school a handful of times, but what direction do you go in when you don’t know what you want to do with your life or where you want to go? Why was deciding my future so hard for me? Why didn’t I just leave Illinois after high school like I wanted to? Why was I so lost?
I am a dreamer. I have all these things that I want to do, but realistically I don’t have time for them. I know, I know, then make time right? I really wish I could. However, I have four kids, two of which are in travel sports and if you have kids in travel sports you know that there is no life outside of that. It completely consumes you. So make time when those sports aren’t happening you say!! That’s funny, those sports are never not happening, they run all year round with small breaks here and there. If only I could pause life so I didn’t miss anything and keep moving at the same time.
Don’t get me wrong I love the life I have. I’m healthy, I’m happy. My husband is healthy and happy and so are my kids. I love the sports we are involved in, the friends that have become family, the memories that have been made, but sometimes I feel like enough is enough. My tank is running on E. I need a plot twist, a breath of fresh air, a moment to regroup and restart.
Sometimes I feel like something is missing. I want more. I want that dream job, you know that job that I’m not sure what it is or if it exists? Yes, that one! I want to travel, with my kids and without. I want jealously and the fear of missing out to not be a real thing. I want financial freedom. And by financial freedom I mean I don’t want to be held back cause of the price tag. We only get one shot at this thing called life and I want the greenest one I can get.
Everyone wants that greener grass … that something that they don’t have.
I think it’s different with every person, situation, and/or relationship. I believe people who are single say they love it, genuinely want a relationship filled with laughter, loyalty and love. I think people who are in relationships might let their mind wander back to when they were single and think maybe that’s where they want to be again if they aren’t being fulfilled in their relationship.
I think we all go through “stale” moments in our life. It becomes such a routine with our day to day bullshit that things become stagnant without us even knowing. It stays stagnant until we are forced to take a step back and realize it.
Every situation has the opportunity to make you question your green and if you want/need something greener. Is your green not bright enough because it needs more water?
thank you for reading - Cecily ( brand ambassador)