A tribute to “Love you forever” Capturing Moments of Love and Loss. Krystyna Sztachelska Rest In Peace -Sept 14th 2023
In the quiet stillness of my grandmothers hospice bed, at the age of 91, my mother stood by her side, holding her hand with tenderness. She whispered in her ear that her “Tata” her father was waiting for her. That it was ok, that it was ok to go. At this point our family has been in hospice for 10 days and dealing with a horrible experience with the rehabilitation since August 2nd. My babcia isn’t there anymore. She hasn’t been for some time. I sat at my computer desk watching my mother holding her, I looked over and being the photographer in me I needed to capture this bittersweet moment of our families history.
Let me explain……
This is a period marked by fragility and strength. My grandmother was the strongest lady I knew. Let me back this up with some history. She is a remarkable survivor of the horror era of Hitler's reign in Poland, was born into a world overshadowed by fear and uncertainty, she navigated a path filled with unimaginable hardships. She witnessed the rise of fascism and the horrors of World War II, enduring the hardships of occupation and the constant threat of persecution. She was always hiding and surviving . That’s all this woman knows how to do is survive and that’s what I she represents is survival. She carried the weight of history on her shoulders, and her experiences became an enduring part of our family's story. She IS history. She is a fighter and has imbedded drive in the women of my family and passed on to my boys. We are survivors. And even though we are survivors we are also stubborn. If you know any polish woman you understand this statement. But she has met her match, which is time, as we all will one day.
So I sat at my computer and observed this gentle moment in history, my families bloodline. I watched my mother holding her hand. Not just for hours , or days but weeks and even a few months. My mother did not leave her side. In this delicate moment, I hesitated and asked my mother if she would mind if I took a photograph. I see beauty in most things and there was beauty in this moment. She actually, respectfully told me no “this isn’t the time for photographs” that this beloved 91 year old with dementia on her last days should not be “glorified”. But I saw beauty in it. I pushed, which I always do.
I reassured my mother that if she wished, I would delete the photos later. She trusted me as I quietly opened the curtains to let some soft light in from behind them. I took out my cell phone because my professional camera was not with me.
This particular moment, and photograph stirs up my childhood. A book that defined my childhood. Let’s see if some of you can remember it. “Love You Forever” a 1986 children's picture book written by Robert Munsch.
I was ironically born in 1986. The cover features a little boy holding a watch, in a destroyed bathroom, ready to flush it down the toilet. Beyond the whimsy of the cover, the book's narrative explores the cycle of life. It portrays a mother's unwavering love as she visits her son's bedside every morning or night, rocking him back and forth while repeating the words, "I love you forever. I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby, you'll be."
These words are repeated, as her son grows older and eventually returning to her as she, too, grows old and unable to walk. In a touching role reversal, the son becomes the caretaker, her son cradles her, repeating the same words, "I love you forever. I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my mommy, you'll be.
As I write this, I am crying as I am reflecting so many memories. If you know me , I am not a writer. My mother has asked me to write something on her behalf. This story needs to be told. This book has so much history in my personal life. Throughout my upbringing, my mother and I always signed all the birthday cards and letters we have written to each other always contained this phrase. The connection to this is so strong, the phrase is tattooed on my spine and reworded into polish to represent our families bond.
Our connection to "Love You Forever" extended even further when my own child was a toddler. I recreated the book cover, sent a photograph to the author, and shared with him our story. Yes you read that right. I sent this photo to Robert Munsch and believe it or not. HE wrote me back! He not only wrote me back but he sent me a letter and signed a copy of the book for me.
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That we take for granted as we sit on our phones. It reminds us that love knows no bounds, time and circumstances.
It is a love that will forever resonate in our hearts, just as the words from a cherished book continue to echo in my soul.
I share this photograph with the world, despite my initial hesitation, because it captures a moment that epitomizes the profound impact of love across generations. In our family, just as in the pages of that cherished book, the cycle of life continues with an unbreakable bond that whispers, "I love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my Babcia you'll be."
My grandmother was laid to rest September 14th at 7:11am 6 days before her 92rd birthday. She left this world with her family by her side, the sun shining while sleeping away into her final destination.
You will be missed
Krystyna Sztachelska
Sept 20, 1931-Sept 14th 2023
I want to express my deepest gratitude to my mother, as I write this for her. A truly extraordinary woman whose selflessness and love had no limits. Over the last three months, I've witnessed her dedication and sacrifice as she fought to ensure that my grandmother had the most comfortable and dignified hospice experience possible. Even though the nursing home was ultimately what sealed her fate to hospice. She never stopped fighting for her. Never gave up. And that same warrior I saw in Krystyna is the same warrior everyone sees in you. She lives within you. And the fighter I have in me is also the same as I pass it onto my children. This is what she brought to this world to pass on.
I love you Mom,
I love you Babcia
“I will love you forever
I will like you for always
as long as I am living
my mommy you will be”
I LOVE YOU,
Granddaughter of Krystyna
on behalf of Grace thank you.
<3 Ashley Klemm